Grand Rapids....come for the churches, stay for the Nascar and Deer Hunting.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
The better half?
I don't ever match my socks up in pairs because it is a waste of time. I keep them in a big basket next to the dryer and every morning I go to the basement to get my socks for the day. When the basket is empty, that is a signal that I should probably do more laundry.
This morning I went to the basement to get my socks and at the bottom of the basement steps was half of a baby squirrel. Specifically, the back half. Tail?...check, hind legs?...check, abdomen?...check, Head shoulders chest and front legs...houston...we have a problem.
I tried not to think about how my cute fat cat spent the better part of the wee morning hours chopping a baby squirrel in half with almost surgical precision. I couldn't stop thinking about the rest of the squirrel though. Where is the freakin head? Do cats actually eat squirrel skull bones? WTF. And trust me, I've looked all around the basement.
The only place I didn't check was under the treadmill, and now I'm thinking that when Cheryl gets home to do her afternoon workout she's going to get that treadmill up to a certain speed and this baby squirrel head is going to shoot across the basement and splat into a wall making some kind of Ralph Steadmanesque illustration that no amount of Kilz paint will cover up.
And here's the thing that really bugs me: who the hell eats the head and chest and arms when you've got the ass and thighs and legs and such. I think of pigs and cows and I'm going for the meaty sections. Can you imagine trying to get to the good meat of a cow skull? It just seems to me as though my cat does not understand which part of the animal is the best, and being the culinary snob that I am, this upsets me.
And it's only wednesday.
One more thing: how the flip did a baby squirrel get in the house? Since I personally let Merlin in and out, I'm pretty sure I would have noticed had he traipsed up the front steps with a squirrel dangling from his mouth.
In other news: Today has been a good music day on itunes. I did the random shuffle thing and it threw together a pretty good morning mix.
Among the songs I would suggest you all give a listen to, and perhaps purchase would be:
Do you trust me? - Blanche Better Way - Ben Harper Iroquois St. Factory - Melissa McClelland When We Say Goodnight - Jonah Smith Smile - David Gilmour Pink Champagne - Venus Hum Fuzzy Freaky - David Byrne Relating to a Psychopath - Macy Gray
One more thing about music and then I've gotta go for the day. Podcasts. For those of you who don't know, they are essentially "programs" that you can download to your computer or MP3 player and then listen to at your leisure. Lots of people and organizations and shows have podcasts, but I'm addicted to one that I get on itunes called Coverville. This guy does these shows and they're nothing but cover songs. Check out the 2005 best of podcast to hear CAKE do a fantastic rendition of the classic disco hit "I will survive" (gloria gaynor maybe?) The episode devoted to Neil Diamond is truly spectacular, and you haven't lived until you hear the easy listening version of Sir Mix-a-lots "Baby got Back." Hearing the lyrics "cause I'm long and I'm strong and I'm down to get the friction on" while banjos and violins and guitars are gently playing in the background is quite a treat. (That would be coverville episode 163 for those of you who check this out. It's toward the end of the episode, but the whole thing is worth listening to).
I don't know how many of you have had that uncomfortable moment where you bump into an old high school friend or a used car salesman or whatever and they've told you: "it seems like you've really got it together...I would love to get together and discuss an EXCITING business opportunity with you". Only it's really hard to get them to tell you just what it is. So...you go to the meeting and find out that for the low low price of $249 you get the privilege of selling soap to all of your friends and family and signing them up to sell soap too so that in just a few years you'll have that yacht in a harbor in the virgin islands that you've always dreamt of.
Maybe it's because I live in the MULTI LEVEL MARKETING MECCA called Grand Rapids, but it sure has happened to me a lot.
Thats why I'm so excited about BELIEVE! It's a new movie that's coming out soon and I can't wait.
Name: Jonathan Home: Grand Rapids, Michigan, United States About Me: Just a guy who trying to eek out a living as a graphic designer in SW Michigan. See my complete profile
Name: Jonathan
