Grand Rapids....come for the churches, stay for the Nascar and Deer Hunting.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Rethinking Religion
I was born and raised a catholic, and like a lot of folks, I quit when I grew up. (no offense to anyone out there who's still practicing...it's just not my cup-o-tea and I like to wisecrack every so often).
Kent county Michigan, which is my county of residence, has an INSANE number of churches. We even have a drive-in church. Seriously. It's called the Woodland Drive-in Church, where you get to worship from your car. Which redefines "Holy-Roller" in my humble opinion, not to mention the fact that my most fond memories of drive-ins conflict (I'm just guessing here) with whatever sermon du-jour is happening at the Woodland Drive-In.
Their advertisements in local magazines show a sideview mirror of a car, and Jesus is all you can see in the mirror except for...you guessed it...the message: "objects in mirror are closer than they appear". All I can say is, if I'm going in reverse when I see that, I'm going to seriously freak out.
Now then, since we have so many churches in Grand Rapids and Kent County, our local paper, the Grand Rapids Press, has a daily religion section. It's usually about 3 times as thick as the World events section, 10 times thicker than the small amount of paper they devote to anything liberal or democratic, and about the same size as the amount of coverage given to our fearless "Dick/Karl/Donald/oh hell call me Dubya" leader. I usually don't get to the religion section that often, but an article on the front page of it a couple of days ago caught my eye.
Apparently, thanks to an organization that is shoving lots of religion down young folks' throats, Jesus has a profile on MySpace.com. He's 33, single, a carpenter, and get this....one of his favorite movies is "The Life of Brian"
So I'm rethinking religion these days. I mean, if JC is really back in town, and it turns out he's a Monty Python fan, I guess I've been wrong all these years. Nudge nudge, poke poke, say no more.
If I were driving in reverse, and I looked in the sideview mirror and the Closer Than it Appears Object happened to be Dick DeVos, I'd be very tempted to floor it. However, if it were Jesus, I'd just back up slowly, then ease on the brakes; I'd crank down the window and I'd say, "Yo, Jesus! Jesus, I'm on my way to Graceland! Graceland, in Memphis Tennessee! You wanna come?" If he said yes, I'd insist he pitch in for gas, and, of course, he'd have to pay for his own Happy Meals.
Imagine that -- touring the Jungle Room with Jesus. It'd be like heaven, and then some.
Name: Jonathan Home: Grand Rapids, Michigan, United States About Me: Just a guy who trying to eek out a living as a graphic designer in SW Michigan. See my complete profile
Name: Jonathan
If I were driving in reverse, and I looked in the sideview mirror and the Closer Than it Appears Object happened to be Dick DeVos, I'd be very tempted to floor it. However, if it were Jesus, I'd just back up slowly, then ease on the brakes; I'd crank down the window and I'd say, "Yo, Jesus! Jesus, I'm on my way to Graceland! Graceland, in Memphis Tennessee! You wanna come?" If he said yes, I'd insist he pitch in for gas, and, of course, he'd have to pay for his own Happy Meals.
Imagine that -- touring the Jungle Room with Jesus. It'd be like heaven, and then some.