Grand Rapids....come for the churches, stay for the Nascar and Deer Hunting.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
PUT the Q-TIP BACK!
True story. Happened to a buddy. Makes me laugh every time I think about.
It goes under the category "you know you're having a bad day when..."
First a little background....when you make the wrong choices and sleep with girls who have perhaps also made some wrong choices, invariably you will experience the joys of an STD.
When this happens you go to the doc for antibiotics...but the doc has to culture you by shoving a small q-tip straight up the ole willy. This ensures an accurate diagnosis so that the correct antibiotics can be prescribed.
This little q-tip swabbing around in there also ensures that the next few times you take a leak, it will feel very similar to pissing white hot pieces of broken glass wrapped in brillo and barbed wire.
AND....the actual process of swabbing is...how you say....freaking knee-knockingly painful.
with that said....
You know you're having a bad day when you go to the doctor to get your willy cultured and when it's all over you look down and see the doctor looking up with a sheepish look on his face saying "woops" and upon closer examination you see that the q-tip that was just in your willy is now on the floor.
Docs around the world...please....hang on to those q-tips.
For the record...this really did happen to a friend, and not me. When I had to go through it my doc at least hung on to the damn q-tip.
ummm, do you not mean, "Put the Q- tip anywhere BUT back?" I don't know about your urethra, but mine is thinking "Q-Tip? Just give me the entire VD cocktail and fill my hole with soap!"
Actually, I did mean put the q-tip back. Not in the sense that one would want it back, but, once it hit the floor the sample would be no good. Personally I woulda payed the doc extra to send it in anyway. Let the lab techs figure out why there's Mop-n-Glo inside me..
Plus, the whole "Put...the candle....back!" line from Young Frankenstein kept popping into my head.
Name: Jonathan Home: Grand Rapids, Michigan, United States About Me: Just a guy who trying to eek out a living as a graphic designer in SW Michigan. See my complete profile
Name: Jonathan
ummm, do you not mean, "Put the Q-
tip anywhere BUT back?" I don't know about your urethra, but mine is thinking "Q-Tip? Just give me the entire VD cocktail and fill my hole with soap!"