Grand Rapids....come for the churches, stay for the Nascar and Deer Hunting.
Monday, January 24, 2005
JAWS OF LIFE
Did you know that hyenas possess the strongest jaw muscles among terrestrial mammals?
Neither did I, but I started to wonder about it because I just recently quit smoking. Well, not because I recently quit smoking, but because I recently started chewing nicorette. Right now, I chew about 12 pieces a day and I'm starting to notice a few things.
1. I smack my gum when I chew. A friend called me up and 10 seconds into the conversation said "Christ, you're really working that gum...did you quit smoking or something?"
2. Nicorette SAYS that it is orange flavored, but it's really only a "hint" of orange essence that lasts for all of 3 seconds before you've just got a spent wad of gum in your mouth that you know you're gonna chew like crazy for the next hour.
3. Nicorette sucks as far as blowing bubbles
4. I really like the buzz from this stuff.
5. At the end of the day, my jaws ache, which tells me I'm getting a really good mandibular workout. I'm thinking that maybe I should start some jaw workout tapes and sell them on an infomercial. JAW-BO, or JAW Pilates.
Anyway...since the end result is me not smoking, I guess it's all good.
When I was in highschool, I was a diver on the swim team and the diving coach was this guy we called HALF-JAW Fairman. Mr. Fairman was a Christian Scientist who got a cancerous growth on his jaw and because of his religion refused to have it operated on until it became the size of a grapefruit. He ended up having half of his jaw removed along with the tumor, hence the name (which he approved of by the way). Due to the fact that half his jaw was missing, anytime he got really excited about us nailing a particular dive we were working on he would develop this frothy dollop of spittle in the corner of his mouth and would reach for the nearest towel to wipe it off. All of us divers kept 2 sets of towels. I don't want to be called Half-Jaw Jonathan.
So there you have it...day by day my jaws are developing hyena-like strength, and my lungs are getting cleaner to boot.
Oh...I did a search on strong jaws. Lo and behold...it's a fetish! To learn more about women with strong jaws, click here Relax...it's not a porn site. Sheesh.
Hey, congrats on quitting smoking, I never smoked, but have lots of friends who have/do, and I know second hand (no pun intended) how difficult it can be to quit, so just keep at it, you'll be doing yourself a world of good. Also, just visiting your blog because you were the first to visit mine, come back often, I promise the posts will be much better than that one.
Name: Jonathan Home: Grand Rapids, Michigan, United States About Me: Just a guy who trying to eek out a living as a graphic designer in SW Michigan. See my complete profile
Name: Jonathan
Hey, congrats on quitting smoking, I never smoked, but have lots of friends who have/do, and I know second hand (no pun intended) how difficult it can be to quit, so just keep at it, you'll be doing yourself a world of good. Also, just visiting your blog because you were the first to visit mine, come back often, I promise the posts will be much better than that one.
Gary